I should have known this would happen. Even when my brothers and sisters and I were barely out of the egg, Mother always told us: “Humans are untrustworthy. Interactions with them never work out, even if they seem kind.” She always warned us to limit our interactions with humans as much as possible. She said it was how our father had died, because he had been foolish enough to trust a human’s offering of food that turned out to be poisoned.
Still, like anyone else, I didn’t quite listen to my mother. I convinced myself that she was exaggerating. But at the same time, I didn’t get too close to humans. There was one I saw occasionally as I flew about. He lived in a forest I visited every so often. He seemed to support himself by hunting, but I knew from witnessing it personally that he wasn’t exactly a great hunter. Humans always seem to be so loud, but he was even when I could tell he was trying to be quiet. When he did manage to catch something, he was usually quite courteous in how he discarded the remains. I feasted on those remains sometimes, after I was sure he was gone.
I think that’s why I failed to head Mother’s warning. He’d unknowingly fed me, and I felt bad for him after seeing his struggles. So when I was flying around, and saw him walking to the stream in the mountain, I knew what he wanted, and that I had to stop him.
The water was almost at his his lips when I knocked it away. As a hunter, you’d think he’d have more sense to investigate his water source, but apparently not. In fact, he tried to drink the water again! So I swooped down again and knocked the leaf-cup out of his hand. But I made a mistake. When the same thing happened for a third time, I didn’t notice him immediately grabbing for his bow. Right when I turned in the air to face him, his arrow shot through my chest. I was only aware of intense pain, and then the ground hitting me suddenly.
Humans are untrustworthy. I was trying to stop him from drinking poisoned water, and for my generosity I was killed. I can only hope others won’t suffer the same fate as me.
Author’s note: this is based on How the Raven Saved the Hunter, from A.L. Shelton’s Tibetan Folk Tales. The story is told from the point of view of the hunter, who is enraged when a raven keeps blocking him from drinking from a stream. After he kills the raven, he discovers that the water is being produced from a snake, and that it’s poisonous. He grieves over his mistake, realizing he let his temper get the better of him. I decided to just tell the story from the raven’s point of view, as it isn’t addressed in the story about what causes the raven to try and protect the man. This is a short story, especially from me, but the original story isn’t very long either.
5 comments:
Hi Madison,
Ironically, I just recently rewrote a story about a hunter and eagle, and I chose to write from the bird's point of view as well! I think the perspective you chose helped to fill in more of the plot and actions of the bird as you explained in your author's note. This was a sad story, and this shows that we as humans sometimes act rashly out of frustration.
Hi Madison,
I really enjoyed the aspect of the raven not trusting his mother's judgement. I also enjoyed how the raven kept believing in hope that humans werent as bad as they seemed. It was nice and refreshing to read a story from the animals perspective and I also enjoyed how the world was viewed differently within the raven's eyes. I also enjoyed the explanations within your author's note as this shed light on where the story came from it also helps me to want to read the original story and see what inspired you to write the story from the raven's perspective. I look forward to reading more of your work as we get closer to the end of the semester.
Hey Madison!
First off I think you made a great call to tell this story from the perspective of the Raven. It gives it a new dimension while still allowing you to hold to the original story's tones and moral. It's always tricky to flip a story, but I think you did a great job. A few quick questions. Did you ever consider telling more of the story, or perhaps maybe even making the Raven a figure sent to protect the hunter? In any case well done!
- JD
Hi Madison, I just finished reading your other story and am back to read this one. I love that you decided to employ a first person point of view to tell this story. I always think it is much more beneficial in ensuring that we relate and understand each character's true intentions. You're writing style is great and I love that you were able to keep the story concise while still staying true to the original tale. Great job!
HI Madison,
I loved this version because I think often times, perspectives from other minor characters are ignored. These perspectives can offer new takes on the story. I am curious about how the bird knew that water was poisoned or why was the water poisoned. Adding this sort of detail helps fill my curiosity. However, what you have now is great! Your story kept my interest all the way through.
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