I remember commenting on one of your posts earlier when you were discussing the different project themes you were considering -- I'm so glad you picked this one! This is a perfect vehicle to carry a frame tale: it's unique, super open-ended, and it even lends itself perfectly to the pun in the title.
I also really like your writing style! It's got lots of vivid imagery and I had no problem conjuring up images in my head of the little yarn shop tucked into the side of the road. The way the shopkeeper kept working in the magical disclaimers made me laugh.
Since your writing is solid, what if you tweaked your site a little? Maybe you could play around with the visual settings of the portfolio and make it look like the inside of the yarn shop. I'm picturing overflowing shelves at crooked angles, cozy lighting, lots of hardwoods, etc. Kind of like the mythology version of Ollivander's from Harry Potter! If this is the effect you're going for, I think it could really increase the immersion for your audience.
Thanks so much for sharing this story with us. First off, well done! I loved how much the introduction set the scene for the story. I found myself wanting to read the next part and hoping some of the mystery and confusion would work itself out. You did a great job of working vivid imagery into your story and creating a compelling beginning. Out of curiosity, where did the motivation for this story come from? You’ll probably answer that question if you write your other stories, but I just had to ask. The only thing I’d change would be possibly simplifying the background of the webpage. The color look really cool, but can make it kind of difficult to read. That’s a super small detail, past that it was great! All in all, this was a fun story to read. I’m looking forward to what else you’ll write this semester.
I would like to start off by saying that I was really impressed by your introduction! I have yet to actually bookmark anyone’s Storybook, but I am honestly considering bookmarking yours to see where you are taking your story. Often time I struggle with cliffhangers and finding an appropriate place to actually end the story so it does not seem so abrupt. I really think that you handled the cliffhanger in your introduction skillfully – it really left me wanting more. I am trying really hard to figure out any type of constructive criticism to give you, but I am coming up short. You added sufficient detail to give the reader a good understanding of the individuals involved and the shop. Your grammar is also on point. I also really appreciate the pictures you included in the background of your introduction. The pictures add color and are pertinent. Very nice job!
Where did I get the idea for a mythological yarn shop? Well I can definitely tell you I'm not sitting with a blanket in my lap that I'm currently crocheting for a family member's baby. Nope, definitely not something I would do at all.
I really enjoyed the introduction to your storybook. I love stories about people and places that end up to be so much more that what initially meets the eye. As far as I can tell, I think that is where your story is going. And the idea of magical yarn is unique and quite amusing. The idea reminds me of stories such as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. I also really like the style you appear to be employing to tell your story. Telling a story using the "wizard and his apprentice" form is one of the best ways to draw in readers because the readers themselves feel as if they are the apprentice and keep reading in order to discover the wizard's secrets. Really well done and I look forward to reading your next installment to find whats so special about all that yarn.
Wow! I love your intro! The pictures you chose and the way you formatted your site made me feel like I was in the story. The intro was intriguing and kept me attention throughout. I am eager to see what happens next.
I wonder where these magical items come from and why they are being sold here but I imagine I will find out as I read more. Why did the teenager come into this particular store in the first place? What made him/her come into this store in the first place?
You might give the teenager and employee more descriptions so you can use pronouns and be less repetitive unless you are keeping it vague for a reason. There were a few other repetitive spots at the beginning that a quick read through would fix. Other than that, it was really great so far.
Finally, I loved the title and how its a play on words. Good luck with the rest, I will keep checking back! -Elyse
Hi Madison! First of all, I absolutely love your set up. You really spun a tale that sucks you in. I also love the title of your story, it's so clever! I like the way you set up the story so I can see how you're going to spin it into each of your individual stories. The set up is really clever and is going to leave so many options open. I also like that you gave each of your narrators such personality. You're rooting for the teenager to get their grandma something amazing. The rude employee is fun and is definitely going to bring some fun adventures. My only criticism would be that it was kind of hard to read some of your story when it was in the yellow part of the background because the font is white. Despite that I liked the background as it bought some life to the story. I can't wait to see where this goes!
I love your concept for your storybook! It's so fun and playful and who doesn't love a good pun? I think your website complements your concept beautifully. I love all the different colors and pictures of yarn and fabrics. It really helps bring this magical yarn & textile shop to life! The only thing about your website layout that I would point out is that the background image behind your introduction is a little bit distracting when I'm trying to read the text, but that's a matter of personal preference.
I think your introduction was really well-written. You really nailed the tone of a fantasy story, and the characters are very distinct already despite only the introduction being set right now. I like the shop employee character a lot, so I hope we get to learn more about them as the story progresses! I'm interested to see how you continue on the story/tie your stories together, so can't wait until you put your first story up!
First of all, I love the topic of your storybook. I think this is a perfect theme that lets you really have complete creative power, as shown in your exciting and funny introduction! I can already see how you are setting up the next story and am so excited to see what all this crazy store has in stock and how these magical items affect that poor teen! One small thing I noticed is at the end, it says "as" instead of "asked" but that is the only thing I noticed as far as a mistake! I love your writing style and how your introduced your storybook and I really enjoyed the banners and backgrounds you used--I love all of the colors! I look forward to seeing how you build up your storybook, both with stories and images! Your website kind of makes me wish I was more crafty myself!
Hey there Madison, Ok First off, your blog is set up wonderfully! The story pages,and even this comment page, are so aesthetically pleasing. The background for the "Textile Stories" obviously does a wonderful job of literally setting the stage for your writing and introducing the reader to the themes of the text. In terms of the actual story, it was very well written. I liked how you begin and end the story, it does a great job of returning the reader to the beginning, where the story sort of starts in the middle of things. The way the plot is left dangling mirrors that introduction while still giving a complete story. It reminded me of how influential things can be on teenagers, and at the same time they always seem to be brilliant and have a much more inquisitive mind than the rest of us. I am definitely looking forward to seeing where else you take this portfolio. Awesome job!
I am glad to say that I came for my second dose of textile stories! I already mentioned this in a previous comment, but I am really fond of the storytelling approach you utilized in your Storybook! As embarrassing as it may be, I never realized that there were so many textile stories available for you to use.
I am a little curious to know why Athena did not destroy Arachne’s loom. Does the loom play some role in making Arachne’s work exceptionally beautiful? Based on the second to last paragraph in your story, I am inclined to believe that the loom itself is partly responsible for the beautiful work, which is why another inexperienced individual would be capable of producing work of a similar caliber.
When I first clicked on the story and saw the background image for it, I honestly thought that it would negatively impact my ability to read the story. I am relieved to say that there is still a nice contrast between the text and the background so there is no difficulty in discerning what the text says!
I'm glad I came back to your site for the second fixture of your storybook; you didn't disappoint. I love the telescopic style in which you tell your story. Telling a story within a story really grabs a reader's attention and immerses the reader ever farther into the story. I completely agree with your decision to adhere to the original myth but you could really add to your story by making a stronger connection between the loom and the clerk. How did the clerk acquire the loom? Or maybe the clerk used it and got some unexpected results. The way you excellently use dialogue, you would only need to sprinkle in a sentence or two and you could even keep it vague to spike the teenager's and the reader's attention. Building that connection would allow you to add your own personal touch to the myth while still adhering to the original telling. Just a thought. I still loved the story and will be back to your site in the coming weeks.
I am back for more! I really enjoyed reading the second story that you based on a Grimm fairytale. I cannot imagine what it must have been like to not be able to speak or effectively communicate for six years! I wonder of this story took place in the modern world, would sign language count against the not talking or writing rule? I also really like the concept of a king that has no sense of direction whatsoever and yet is protected/favored by some greater being. I am not quite sure how I feel about the inclusion of the evil stepmother/mother-in-law trope. Why can’t we just have a sweet mother-in-law for once in our lives?
I am not sure if you even know the answer to this, but how did the brothers know or find out about a way to reverse the spell? Also, when the brothers turn into swans, do they lose their human consciousness and have only primal animal instincts? That would explain why they do not bother to stick around with their sister to ensure that she does not speak.
I said I would be back to your site and here I am. And again, I was not disappointed. I had actually never heard of the story about the six swans so I thought your story was a great first presentation. Personally, I thought it was kind if funny to think of the Brothers Grimm as the American Pickers, traveling across Germany and collecting pieces to old stories. And having had some experience with stinging neddles and learning the hard way how bad the actually hurt, I cannot imagine touching them on purpose all day and not saying a word. My feedback might sound a lot like my last comment. I would like to know how the clerk acquired the shirt. Did she personally know the Brothers Grimm or did she find it in a garage sale or something. I think that could be a brief bit interesting anecdote. Anyway, other than that slight narrative detail, I would not change anything about your story. Great job!
Hey Madison, I was so excited to come back to your storybook, I loved the introduction so much! The rest of your storybook definitely did not disappoint.I will say, design wise, I love the pictures you've chosen but both of the stories were hard to read. Some of that is personal preference, as I don't love reading white font on black backgrounds. However, there were definitely some parts, especially in your Greek story that were hard to read. I liked bot your stories but prefer your Arachne story. In that one, I love the way you told the story in dialogue. You managed to tell so much while also giving each of your character's such personality. I feel like the Grimm story loses some of that. Because the story is so long you don't have as much time to keep the dialogue and personality you had before. I feel that if you were to cut anything out it would maybe have to be shortening some of the backstory before the boys become swans. I know that backstory is important but it doesn't leave enough time for the rest of the story I think. I'm excited to see what else you do! Great job!
What a unique idea for your storybook. I definitely didn't know exactly what to expect but was pleasantly surprised when I arrived on your homepage. I think that the backgrounds you chose are so fitting and definitely look like fabric on clothing. I would suggest making sure that there is a link to your comment wall on your homepage just to make it easier for your readers to find without having to venture back to your blog.
I love how much dialogue you decided to employ in your stories. I love reading dialogue as I feel it gives you a better look into the character's minds. Maybe you should add pictures in between some of the dialogue to break it up. There is a lot of text, but that might just be a personal preference.
I did love the pictures that you did choose to use at the end of each story. They definitely add to the story and give a great visual! Great job and can't wait to see your work for the rest of the semester.
Hello Madison! Not only your storybook looks great, but also your stories are great! When I first read your stories, I was amazed on how descriptive and detailed you wrote it. Not only can I visualize what I am seeing, but what I am also hearing. I just really enjoy your style of reading because I, myself, do struggle in the part of making my stories as visual. You started your story off very mysterious which made me feel like I was on the edge of my seat. Also, I love you added lots of dialogue in your stories. The only problem I really had were the pictures or background in your stories. It just made it harder to read, so maybe insert pictures In between your paragraphs or the ending? I also really enjoyed how much you explained Athena and Arachne’s story for people who do not know it. Overall, it was a great story! Good job!
I am a huge fan of your whole storybook project as a whole! The stories are very well-written and described, and that is so important in engaging a reader in your story. The word choice really fits with the mood of the story, and your descriptions and dialogue reflect a well-integrated story. Your use of dialogue was wonderful and employed in a way that felt really natural! I also really liked your website layout! It is very organized and each tab has its own unique background and theming that really create an experience for the reader. The images you also used on the website roll with the theme you have created, and really help tell the story itself, which is great! Keep up the great work! Have a great rest of the semester!
I think your opening line of your intro is super effective. It totally grabbed my attention and was very impactful. Short and sweet, works every time! One thing I noticed in the Greek chapter, there are end quotation marks missing at the end of the paragraph that begins, "Well, Athena was many things...." and also the three paragraphs after that. This happens again in your next chapter when the clerk is telling the story. I really like the idea you created! The reader gets to hear these tales from all over the world, while enjoying the banter between the clerk and the teenager. If I may suggest, the long paragraphs of straight dialogue can be a little long at times, and even a bit confusing when you suddenly switch to the other speaker without other indication. I wonder how the flow could become smoother if you added a few more details between the dialogue? Also, this may be on purpose, but I am so curious about the genders of the clerk and teenager. The clerk is referred to at "their" a few times, and while this is gender neutral, I'm not sure how correct it is since it refers to multiple people. GREAT JOB so far! I can't wait to read new chapters!
I've just had the opportunity to visit your site again to see the progress you've made and have to say that I really enjoy exploring your site. Once again, the utilization of certain pictures to represent different fabrics is such a good a nd unique idea that fits well with such a good and unique topic. I also love the image that you decided to use on the Grimm story. It definitely is such a good visual portrayal of what is happening in the tale. I think you did a great job of shortening it. It didn't feel as if anything important was left out and I definitely felt fulfilled with the characters and plot by the end. So no need to worry about that!I think it's great that you were able to take enough creative liberties to make it your own. Furthermore, great use of dialogue to elongate your story. I love dialogue because it always gives us a better look into the brains of the characters. Great job!
I came back to see how your stories were going. I love the way you have framed your tales, all told by some mysterious shopkeeper. The dialog between the shopkeeper and the boy is funny and keeps things interesting. The stories are also really captivating. I love the way you've kept things similar to the original while adapting them to fit into the overarching story. Your website looks great and the pictures fit right in and tie everything together. I don't have any real critics. I think everything was really clear and moved along well. I also enjoy how you move to different time periods and cultures, first with the Greeks and then with the Grimm fairytale. The idea that the myths and fairytales we've all heard could be real is intriguing. How strange it would be to wander into a shop like that. If I were the boy, I'm not sure I would be so at ease! Great job so far, I'll be sure to check back.
This is my first time viewing your project and I must say I am very impressed. First, I really like the protagonist that you have created for all of your stories. I have said this to others and I will say it again, I LOVE storytelling within a story. It really reminds me of one of my favorite movies - The Princess Bride. Additionally, I like how much dialogue you have used in each of your stories. This is something that I often times struggle with but I am attempting to put more in and I will use yours as a resource. I also think you have done very well with the design of the site as a whole. I think it flows together very well and really helps set the tone that you continue to build on in your stories. Great job so far and I hope that you have a great rest of the semester.
This is my second time getting to see you storybook project and I have to say that it looks and feels even better than it did the first time! The mechanism of using storytelling within stories is so unique, and I wish I would have thought of it because it is awesome! I also like how detailed the world you're building in your stories feels and well dialogue is placed and utilized to get the greatest effect. I also like the ergonomic design of the website! It is really easy to use and navigate, and I like how you use it to contribute to the feeling of the story before it really even is read by someone. I think your project is wonderful! Keep up the great work!
Your stories are so interesting! I especially loved the story of Arachne. So this week we are supposed to be focusing on our Author's Notes, and I must say that you have used yours very well. You have done a great job of making them informative, explaining variations in your story, sharing insights into why you took certain risks in the writing, and just making them useful. I have been struggling with my Author's Notes, but I am glad I have been assigned to your posts because they have been quite helpful in teaching me how to make the note productive. On top of all of that, your stories are really interesting. You've done a great job of making them fun and creative! Keep up the good work, and enjoy your last few weeks of the semester!
They there Madison, First off I was just blown back by amount of detail you have put into your Myth and Folklore Project. I think that you did a really great job this the layout of your website, really making it easy for the readers and users of the website to navigate throughout your awesome stories. The homepage you have utilized is a really great first impression for your readers. The background image you used was really interesting, and really did a great job at drawing the readers in before they have even started reading the story. Now on to the stories themselves. I think that you did a really great job at getting the readers attention right off the bat and drawing them in even further throughout the stories progression. I can tell that you put a lot of effort into this story just based of the detail of the story. These were really great stories and I can not wait to read more!
These posts are lovely. I really like the formatting and the way the storybook reads. Having it all be in one continuous story but in section relation to different myths isd amazing. My favorite of your stories was the Grimm one about the nettle shirts. It had a happy ending which I enjoyed, but it was also a new story to my own understanding of Grimm stories. Someone like the princess with that much dedication to her brothers and the patience to knit nettle shits is an amazing feat. In a way, the silence from her reminded me of The Little Mermaid and hoe Ariel could not talk but still managed to get someone to fall in love with her. Though in your story she's taken hostage....and then fallen in love with. Still fairytale like anyways. I can't wait to see what stories you decide to add next, I hope it's one from egyptian mythology...if there is one that fits haha.
Once again, I have returned for more of those absolutely entertaining stories that you have written for us in your Storybook! I have visited your Storybook many times, but I do not think that I have ever commented about the meme you have on your comment wall. I do not watch Futurama, but I am really fond of that meme!
I am going to focus my comments on your most recent story since my previous comments have focused on your past ones. I want to start off by saying that the employee’s sass is incredibly amusing. And quite honestly, I am surprised that the clerk has the patience to deal with the teen and tell her all these stories. I really like the vivid imagery you used to describe the robe! I felt as if I could really imagine it thanks to you!
You wrote a fantastic story! Keep up the good work!
First off, your introduction page is absolutely beautiful. It so heartwarming to see all the colors and you made it fit into your story. I could browse at it all day if I wanted to. I read all of your stories and they are so well put together. Not only did you put detail in your stories but in your whole project. You helped set the tone and the tone was set all through the ending. I wish that there was more than just those stories haha. I would have liked to read more work from you. I also enjoyed your Author's notes because you did a very good job at explaining and giving extra information on the history of the story. That helped make the story a lot more understandable. I like how you use of a variety of cultures and ideas to help your stories come more alive. Overall, you did a great job on your projects. Keep up the amazing work!
I am really enjoying how your story is coming along. Your newest story, about the Goddess Weaver was very well written. The conversation between the clerk and the boy flows really naturally and the story takes shape well, even in dialogue. This story was sad but it was also interesting. Sometimes, I think people need to think before they act. The Goddess Weaver's father didn't consider everything well enough when he decided to get her married and his solution to the problem was just as bad! The picture you chose was fitting and the background tied everything together. Your changes were subtle but I liked how the Goddess Weaver chose her husband. I love how all of your stories are unique but they all come together in the yarn shop. I am really intrigued by what is to come. Great job so far, I can't wait to see how it all concludes! -Elyse
I really enjoyed checking back on your story. What a terrible father Atalanta had! I can't believe someone would do that to their baby and then lie to their wife about it. I love the perspectives you used to write this story and the way you switched around to shape it. I also liked how you gave everything a name, including the hunters who found Atalanta. I'm sure they were important to her when she was growing up. They taught her to be strong and independent. It was a good contrast between them and her original father. In the second story, I liked how Atalanta got a dog as strong as she was. Aura seems like a great companion to have. We also got a glimpse of how strong Atalanta is by her quick defeat of the centaurs. I certainly wouldn't want to come up against her if she was angry.
Hi Madison, I have really enjoyed reading your stories about Spin Me a Yarn, and the interaction between the teenager and the employee. My favorite of all the stories was the one about Arachne, but today I read the epilogue. It was really cool to see the story wrap up the way it did. After the store clerk got a bit heated with the customer, they came to a really cool solution. I liked the way you ended the stories a ton. Some of my great grandparents had dimentia and it is a really, really rough thing to watch. It is so cool that the clerk was able to hook the kid up with a yarn that would keep his grandma safe from getting lost (which happens quite often when people have dimentia). Congrats on finishing the semester, and great work!
I have really enjoyed getting to see your storybook project "Spin Me a Yarn" grow and evolve into what its current state is now. All of these stories are so intricate, fun to read, and very entertaining at times. I love the Arachne story of Greek mythos and how you portrayed it to the reader in this new context, and I really thought it was crazy how Atalanta's father was so awful and then how she and Aura turned out to be after the hunters helped raise her. I also really loved how your website layout really contributes to the overall theming of the storybook project and makes it that much more enjoyable and that much more immersive to the casual reader. Great job this year!
Hi Madison, So first off, I LOVE YOUR PAGE! I also really like your comment wall and the background. I honestly feel the meme that you put up as well. Now to your stories. I absolutely loved them. I was immediately captivated by your home page because it had a warm, home feeling to it because I also enjoy working with yarn. Your stories were beautifully crafted and I couldn't stop reading them. To be honest with you, I bookmarked your page so I can come back and reread your stories. I enjoyed the aspect in which you told your stories. The back and forth between the teenager and the clerk was great and I especially loved the sass in the beginning. Overall, I think you have done a beautiful job with telling the different tales that you did. By the way, I swung over here from the Epics of India class and I am not at all disappointed with my decision to do so. Fantastic job and good luck on finals!
I;m back for the final part of the story. Out of all the storybooks I've read thus far, yours is genuinely one of favorites. With its well written dialogue and unique and incitement theme, I can't help but keep coming back. Anyway, I thought your last story was your best one. Without much warning, the story took on a heavier and more somber mood. But I thought the clerk's solution was perfect and it made the ending really sweet. If you had planned to end it this way from the begging, I applaud your foresight. I thought it was really cool that the thread that ran through the entire story was literally thread (or ball of yarn). Fantastic work! I'm glad I was able to follow along with your project this past semester.
Wow, your project has really come together in an amazing way! I think it’s so cool that you chose this topic to create a cohesive framework for your storybook. Comparing stories on a similar topic across multiple cultures can provide such interesting insights into the people, the traditions, the values, and the morals of these cultures. The storybook is so well thought out and finished out. I’m so glad you got to add in so many different parts so that the reader gets a more complete picture of your topic. Everything is so well written, and the layout and images you have chosen complement your story book beautifully. I especially enjoyed reading the new stories that I was not previously familiar with. Overall, I thought your writing was great. It was such a treat to read!
Great job, good luck with your finals, and have an amazing summer! -Kate
35 comments:
Hey, Madison!
I remember commenting on one of your posts earlier when you were discussing the different project themes you were considering -- I'm so glad you picked this one! This is a perfect vehicle to carry a frame tale: it's unique, super open-ended, and it even lends itself perfectly to the pun in the title.
I also really like your writing style! It's got lots of vivid imagery and I had no problem conjuring up images in my head of the little yarn shop tucked into the side of the road. The way the shopkeeper kept working in the magical disclaimers made me laugh.
Since your writing is solid, what if you tweaked your site a little? Maybe you could play around with the visual settings of the portfolio and make it look like the inside of the yarn shop. I'm picturing overflowing shelves at crooked angles, cozy lighting, lots of hardwoods, etc. Kind of like the mythology version of Ollivander's from Harry Potter! If this is the effect you're going for, I think it could really increase the immersion for your audience.
I'm looking forward to reading more!
Hey Madison!
Thanks so much for sharing this story with us.
First off, well done! I loved how much the introduction set the scene for the story. I found myself wanting to read the next part and hoping some of the mystery and confusion would work itself out.
You did a great job of working vivid imagery into your story and creating a compelling beginning. Out of curiosity, where did the motivation for this story come from? You’ll probably answer that question if you write your other stories, but I just had to ask.
The only thing I’d change would be possibly simplifying the background of the webpage. The color look really cool, but can make it kind of difficult to read. That’s a super small detail, past that it was great!
All in all, this was a fun story to read. I’m looking forward to what else you’ll write this semester.
Best,
- JD
Hello, Madison!
I would like to start off by saying that I was really impressed by your introduction! I have yet to actually bookmark anyone’s Storybook, but I am honestly considering bookmarking yours to see where you are taking your story. Often time I struggle with cliffhangers and finding an appropriate place to actually end the story so it does not seem so abrupt. I really think that you handled the cliffhanger in your introduction skillfully – it really left me wanting more. I am trying really hard to figure out any type of constructive criticism to give you, but I am coming up short. You added sufficient detail to give the reader a good understanding of the individuals involved and the shop. Your grammar is also on point. I also really appreciate the pictures you included in the background of your introduction. The pictures add color and are pertinent. Very nice job!
Where did I get the idea for a mythological yarn shop? Well I can definitely tell you I'm not sitting with a blanket in my lap that I'm currently crocheting for a family member's baby. Nope, definitely not something I would do at all.
(But also exactly what I do lol)
Hey Madison!
I really enjoyed the introduction to your storybook. I love stories about people and places that end up to be so much more that what initially meets the eye. As far as I can tell, I think that is where your story is going. And the idea of magical yarn is unique and quite amusing. The idea reminds me of stories such as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. I also really like the style you appear to be employing to tell your story. Telling a story using the "wizard and his apprentice" form is one of the best ways to draw in readers because the readers themselves feel as if they are the apprentice and keep reading in order to discover the wizard's secrets. Really well done and I look forward to reading your next installment to find whats so special about all that yarn.
Hey Madison!
Wow! I love your intro! The pictures you chose and the way you formatted your site made me feel like I was in the story. The intro was intriguing and kept me attention throughout. I am eager to see what happens next.
I wonder where these magical items come from and why they are being sold here but I imagine I will find out as I read more. Why did the teenager come into this particular store in the first place? What made him/her come into this store in the first place?
You might give the teenager and employee more descriptions so you can use pronouns and be less repetitive unless you are keeping it vague for a reason. There were a few other repetitive spots at the beginning that a quick read through would fix. Other than that, it was really great so far.
Finally, I loved the title and how its a play on words. Good luck with the rest, I will keep checking back!
-Elyse
Hi Madison!
First of all, I absolutely love your set up. You really spun a tale that sucks you in. I also love the title of your story, it's so clever! I like the way you set up the story so I can see how you're going to spin it into each of your individual stories. The set up is really clever and is going to leave so many options open. I also like that you gave each of your narrators such personality. You're rooting for the teenager to get their grandma something amazing. The rude employee is fun and is definitely going to bring some fun adventures. My only criticism would be that it was kind of hard to read some of your story when it was in the yellow part of the background because the font is white. Despite that I liked the background as it bought some life to the story. I can't wait to see where this goes!
Hi Madison!
I love your concept for your storybook! It's so fun and playful and who doesn't love a good pun? I think your website complements your concept beautifully. I love all the different colors and pictures of yarn and fabrics. It really helps bring this magical yarn & textile shop to life! The only thing about your website layout that I would point out is that the background image behind your introduction is a little bit distracting when I'm trying to read the text, but that's a matter of personal preference.
I think your introduction was really well-written. You really nailed the tone of a fantasy story, and the characters are very distinct already despite only the introduction being set right now. I like the shop employee character a lot, so I hope we get to learn more about them as the story progresses! I'm interested to see how you continue on the story/tie your stories together, so can't wait until you put your first story up!
Hey, Madison!
First of all, I love the topic of your storybook. I think this is a perfect theme that lets you really have complete creative power, as shown in your exciting and funny introduction! I can already see how you are setting up the next story and am so excited to see what all this crazy store has in stock and how these magical items affect that poor teen! One small thing I noticed is at the end, it says "as" instead of "asked" but that is the only thing I noticed as far as a mistake! I love your writing style and how your introduced your storybook and I really enjoyed the banners and backgrounds you used--I love all of the colors! I look forward to seeing how you build up your storybook, both with stories and images! Your website kind of makes me wish I was more crafty myself!
Great work!
Hey there Madison,
Ok First off, your blog is set up wonderfully! The story pages,and even this comment page, are so aesthetically pleasing. The background for the "Textile Stories" obviously does a wonderful job of literally setting the stage for your writing and introducing the reader to the themes of the text. In terms of the actual story, it was very well written. I liked how you begin and end the story, it does a great job of returning the reader to the beginning, where the story sort of starts in the middle of things. The way the plot is left dangling mirrors that introduction while still giving a complete story. It reminded me of how influential things can be on teenagers, and at the same time they always seem to be brilliant and have a much more inquisitive mind than the rest of us. I am definitely looking forward to seeing where else you take this portfolio. Awesome job!
Hello, Madison!
I am glad to say that I came for my second dose of textile stories! I already mentioned this in a previous comment, but I am really fond of the storytelling approach you utilized in your Storybook! As embarrassing as it may be, I never realized that there were so many textile stories available for you to use.
I am a little curious to know why Athena did not destroy Arachne’s loom. Does the loom play some role in making Arachne’s work exceptionally beautiful? Based on the second to last paragraph in your story, I am inclined to believe that the loom itself is partly responsible for the beautiful work, which is why another inexperienced individual would be capable of producing work of a similar caliber.
When I first clicked on the story and saw the background image for it, I honestly thought that it would negatively impact my ability to read the story. I am relieved to say that there is still a nice contrast between the text and the background so there is no difficulty in discerning what the text says!
Hey, Madison!
I'm glad I came back to your site for the second fixture of your storybook; you didn't disappoint. I love the telescopic style in which you tell your story. Telling a story within a story really grabs a reader's attention and immerses the reader ever farther into the story. I completely agree with your decision to adhere to the original myth but you could really add to your story by making a stronger connection between the loom and the clerk. How did the clerk acquire the loom? Or maybe the clerk used it and got some unexpected results. The way you excellently use dialogue, you would only need to sprinkle in a sentence or two and you could even keep it vague to spike the teenager's and the reader's attention. Building that connection would allow you to add your own personal touch to the myth while still adhering to the original telling. Just a thought. I still loved the story and will be back to your site in the coming weeks.
Hello, Madison!
I am back for more! I really enjoyed reading the second story that you based on a Grimm fairytale. I cannot imagine what it must have been like to not be able to speak or effectively communicate for six years! I wonder of this story took place in the modern world, would sign language count against the not talking or writing rule? I also really like the concept of a king that has no sense of direction whatsoever and yet is protected/favored by some greater being. I am not quite sure how I feel about the inclusion of the evil stepmother/mother-in-law trope. Why can’t we just have a sweet mother-in-law for once in our lives?
I am not sure if you even know the answer to this, but how did the brothers know or find out about a way to reverse the spell? Also, when the brothers turn into swans, do they lose their human consciousness and have only primal animal instincts? That would explain why they do not bother to stick around with their sister to ensure that she does not speak.
I can’t wait to read your next story!
Hey Madison!
I said I would be back to your site and here I am. And again, I was not disappointed. I had actually never heard of the story about the six swans so I thought your story was a great first presentation. Personally, I thought it was kind if funny to think of the Brothers Grimm as the American Pickers, traveling across Germany and collecting pieces to old stories. And having had some experience with stinging neddles and learning the hard way how bad the actually hurt, I cannot imagine touching them on purpose all day and not saying a word. My feedback might sound a lot like my last comment. I would like to know how the clerk acquired the shirt. Did she personally know the Brothers Grimm or did she find it in a garage sale or something. I think that could be a brief bit interesting anecdote. Anyway, other than that slight narrative detail, I would not change anything about your story. Great job!
Hey Madison,
I was so excited to come back to your storybook, I loved the introduction so much! The rest of your storybook definitely did not disappoint.I will say, design wise, I love the pictures you've chosen but both of the stories were hard to read. Some of that is personal preference, as I don't love reading white font on black backgrounds. However, there were definitely some parts, especially in your Greek story that were hard to read. I liked bot your stories but prefer your Arachne story. In that one, I love the way you told the story in dialogue. You managed to tell so much while also giving each of your character's such personality. I feel like the Grimm story loses some of that. Because the story is so long you don't have as much time to keep the dialogue and personality you had before. I feel that if you were to cut anything out it would maybe have to be shortening some of the backstory before the boys become swans. I know that backstory is important but it doesn't leave enough time for the rest of the story I think. I'm excited to see what else you do! Great job!
HI Madison,
What a unique idea for your storybook. I definitely didn't know exactly what to expect but was pleasantly surprised when I arrived on your homepage. I think that the backgrounds you chose are so fitting and definitely look like fabric on clothing. I would suggest making sure that there is a link to your comment wall on your homepage just to make it easier for your readers to find without having to venture back to your blog.
I love how much dialogue you decided to employ in your stories. I love reading dialogue as I feel it gives you a better look into the character's minds. Maybe you should add pictures in between some of the dialogue to break it up. There is a lot of text, but that might just be a personal preference.
I did love the pictures that you did choose to use at the end of each story. They definitely add to the story and give a great visual! Great job and can't wait to see your work for the rest of the semester.
Hello Madison! Not only your storybook looks great, but also your stories are great! When I first read your stories, I was amazed on how descriptive and detailed you wrote it. Not only can I visualize what I am seeing, but what I am also hearing. I just really enjoy your style of reading because I, myself, do struggle in the part of making my stories as visual. You started your story off very mysterious which made me feel like I was on the edge of my seat. Also, I love you added lots of dialogue in your stories. The only problem I really had were the pictures or background in your stories. It just made it harder to read, so maybe insert pictures In between your paragraphs or the ending? I also really enjoyed how much you explained Athena and Arachne’s story for people who do not know it. Overall, it was a great story! Good job!
Hello Madison!
I am a huge fan of your whole storybook project as a whole! The stories are very well-written and described, and that is so important in engaging a reader in your story. The word choice really fits with the mood of the story, and your descriptions and dialogue reflect a well-integrated story. Your use of dialogue was wonderful and employed in a way that felt really natural! I also really liked your website layout! It is very organized and each tab has its own unique background and theming that really create an experience for the reader. The images you also used on the website roll with the theme you have created, and really help tell the story itself, which is great! Keep up the great work! Have a great rest of the semester!
Hi Madison!
I think your opening line of your intro is super effective. It totally grabbed my attention and was very impactful. Short and sweet, works every time! One thing I noticed in the Greek chapter, there are end quotation marks missing at the end of the paragraph that begins, "Well, Athena was many things...." and also the three paragraphs after that. This happens again in your next chapter when the clerk is telling the story. I really like the idea you created! The reader gets to hear these tales from all over the world, while enjoying the banter between the clerk and the teenager. If I may suggest, the long paragraphs of straight dialogue can be a little long at times, and even a bit confusing when you suddenly switch to the other speaker without other indication. I wonder how the flow could become smoother if you added a few more details between the dialogue? Also, this may be on purpose, but I am so curious about the genders of the clerk and teenager. The clerk is referred to at "their" a few times, and while this is gender neutral, I'm not sure how correct it is since it refers to multiple people. GREAT JOB so far! I can't wait to read new chapters!
HI Madison,
I've just had the opportunity to visit your site again to see the progress you've made and have to say that I really enjoy exploring your site. Once again, the utilization of certain pictures to represent different fabrics is such a good a nd unique idea that fits well with such a good and unique topic. I also love the image that you decided to use on the Grimm story. It definitely is such a good visual portrayal of what is happening in the tale. I think you did a great job of shortening it. It didn't feel as if anything important was left out and I definitely felt fulfilled with the characters and plot by the end. So no need to worry about that!I think it's great that you were able to take enough creative liberties to make it your own. Furthermore, great use of dialogue to elongate your story. I love dialogue because it always gives us a better look into the brains of the characters. Great job!
Hey Madison,
I came back to see how your stories were going. I love the way you have framed your tales, all told by some mysterious shopkeeper. The dialog between the shopkeeper and the boy is funny and keeps things interesting. The stories are also really captivating. I love the way you've kept things similar to the original while adapting them to fit into the overarching story. Your website looks great and the pictures fit right in and tie everything together. I don't have any real critics. I think everything was really clear and moved along well. I also enjoy how you move to different time periods and cultures, first with the Greeks and then with the Grimm fairytale. The idea that the myths and fairytales we've all heard could be real is intriguing. How strange it would be to wander into a shop like that. If I were the boy, I'm not sure I would be so at ease!
Great job so far, I'll be sure to check back.
-Elyse
Hey Madison,
This is my first time viewing your project and I must say I am very impressed. First, I really like the protagonist that you have created for all of your stories. I have said this to others and I will say it again, I LOVE storytelling within a story. It really reminds me of one of my favorite movies - The Princess Bride. Additionally, I like how much dialogue you have used in each of your stories. This is something that I often times struggle with but I am attempting to put more in and I will use yours as a resource. I also think you have done very well with the design of the site as a whole. I think it flows together very well and really helps set the tone that you continue to build on in your stories. Great job so far and I hope that you have a great rest of the semester.
Hey Madison,
This is my second time getting to see you storybook project and I have to say that it looks and feels even better than it did the first time! The mechanism of using storytelling within stories is so unique, and I wish I would have thought of it because it is awesome! I also like how detailed the world you're building in your stories feels and well dialogue is placed and utilized to get the greatest effect. I also like the ergonomic design of the website! It is really easy to use and navigate, and I like how you use it to contribute to the feeling of the story before it really even is read by someone. I think your project is wonderful! Keep up the great work!
Hey Madison,
Your stories are so interesting! I especially loved the story of Arachne. So this week we are supposed to be focusing on our Author's Notes, and I must say that you have used yours very well. You have done a great job of making them informative, explaining variations in your story, sharing insights into why you took certain risks in the writing, and just making them useful. I have been struggling with my Author's Notes, but I am glad I have been assigned to your posts because they have been quite helpful in teaching me how to make the note productive. On top of all of that, your stories are really interesting. You've done a great job of making them fun and creative! Keep up the good work, and enjoy your last few weeks of the semester!
Brady
They there Madison,
First off I was just blown back by amount of detail you have put into your Myth and Folklore Project. I think that you did a really great job this the layout of your website, really making it easy for the readers and users of the website to navigate throughout your awesome stories. The homepage you have utilized is a really great first impression for your readers. The background image you used was really interesting, and really did a great job at drawing the readers in before they have even started reading the story. Now on to the stories themselves. I think that you did a really great job at getting the readers attention right off the bat and drawing them in even further throughout the stories progression. I can tell that you put a lot of effort into this story just based of the detail of the story. These were really great stories and I can not wait to read more!
These posts are lovely. I really like the formatting and the way the storybook reads. Having it all be in one continuous story but in section relation to different myths isd amazing. My favorite of your stories was the Grimm one about the nettle shirts. It had a happy ending which I enjoyed, but it was also a new story to my own understanding of Grimm stories. Someone like the princess with that much dedication to her brothers and the patience to knit nettle shits is an amazing feat. In a way, the silence from her reminded me of The Little Mermaid and hoe Ariel could not talk but still managed to get someone to fall in love with her. Though in your story she's taken hostage....and then fallen in love with. Still fairytale like anyways. I can't wait to see what stories you decide to add next, I hope it's one from egyptian mythology...if there is one that fits haha.
Hello, Madison!
Once again, I have returned for more of those absolutely entertaining stories that you have written for us in your Storybook! I have visited your Storybook many times, but I do not think that I have ever commented about the meme you have on your comment wall. I do not watch Futurama, but I am really fond of that meme!
I am going to focus my comments on your most recent story since my previous comments have focused on your past ones. I want to start off by saying that the employee’s sass is incredibly amusing. And quite honestly, I am surprised that the clerk has the patience to deal with the teen and tell her all these stories. I really like the vivid imagery you used to describe the robe! I felt as if I could really imagine it thanks to you!
You wrote a fantastic story! Keep up the good work!
Hello Madison!
First off, your introduction page is absolutely beautiful. It so heartwarming to see all the colors and you made it fit into your story. I could browse at it all day if I wanted to. I read all of your stories and they are so well put together. Not only did you put detail in your stories but in your whole project. You helped set the tone and the tone was set all through the ending. I wish that there was more than just those stories haha. I would have liked to read more work from you. I also enjoyed your Author's notes because you did a very good job at explaining and giving extra information on the history of the story. That helped make the story a lot more understandable. I like how you use of a variety of cultures and ideas to help your stories come more alive. Overall, you did a great job on your projects. Keep up the amazing work!
Hey Madison,
I am really enjoying how your story is coming along. Your newest story, about the Goddess Weaver was very well written. The conversation between the clerk and the boy flows really naturally and the story takes shape well, even in dialogue. This story was sad but it was also interesting. Sometimes, I think people need to think before they act. The Goddess Weaver's father didn't consider everything well enough when he decided to get her married and his solution to the problem was just as bad! The picture you chose was fitting and the background tied everything together. Your changes were subtle but I liked how the Goddess Weaver chose her husband. I love how all of your stories are unique but they all come together in the yarn shop. I am really intrigued by what is to come.
Great job so far, I can't wait to see how it all concludes!
-Elyse
Hey Kate,
I really enjoyed checking back on your story. What a terrible father Atalanta had! I can't believe someone would do that to their baby and then lie to their wife about it. I love the perspectives you used to write this story and the way you switched around to shape it. I also liked how you gave everything a name, including the hunters who found Atalanta. I'm sure they were important to her when she was growing up. They taught her to be strong and independent. It was a good contrast between them and her original father. In the second story, I liked how Atalanta got a dog as strong as she was. Aura seems like a great companion to have. We also got a glimpse of how strong Atalanta is by her quick defeat of the centaurs. I certainly wouldn't want to come up against her if she was angry.
Great job so far,
Elyse
Hi Madison,
I have really enjoyed reading your stories about Spin Me a Yarn, and the interaction between the teenager and the employee. My favorite of all the stories was the one about Arachne, but today I read the epilogue. It was really cool to see the story wrap up the way it did. After the store clerk got a bit heated with the customer, they came to a really cool solution. I liked the way you ended the stories a ton. Some of my great grandparents had dimentia and it is a really, really rough thing to watch. It is so cool that the clerk was able to hook the kid up with a yarn that would keep his grandma safe from getting lost (which happens quite often when people have dimentia). Congrats on finishing the semester, and great work!
Brady
Hey Madison,
I have really enjoyed getting to see your storybook project "Spin Me a Yarn" grow and evolve into what its current state is now. All of these stories are so intricate, fun to read, and very entertaining at times. I love the Arachne story of Greek mythos and how you portrayed it to the reader in this new context, and I really thought it was crazy how Atalanta's father was so awful and then how she and Aura turned out to be after the hunters helped raise her. I also really loved how your website layout really contributes to the overall theming of the storybook project and makes it that much more enjoyable and that much more immersive to the casual reader. Great job this year!
Hi Madison,
So first off, I LOVE YOUR PAGE! I also really like your comment wall and the background. I honestly feel the meme that you put up as well. Now to your stories. I absolutely loved them. I was immediately captivated by your home page because it had a warm, home feeling to it because I also enjoy working with yarn. Your stories were beautifully crafted and I couldn't stop reading them. To be honest with you, I bookmarked your page so I can come back and reread your stories. I enjoyed the aspect in which you told your stories. The back and forth between the teenager and the clerk was great and I especially loved the sass in the beginning. Overall, I think you have done a beautiful job with telling the different tales that you did. By the way, I swung over here from the Epics of India class and I am not at all disappointed with my decision to do so. Fantastic job and good luck on finals!
Hey Madison!
I;m back for the final part of the story. Out of all the storybooks I've read thus far, yours is genuinely one of favorites. With its well written dialogue and unique and incitement theme, I can't help but keep coming back. Anyway, I thought your last story was your best one. Without much warning, the story took on a heavier and more somber mood. But I thought the clerk's solution was perfect and it made the ending really sweet. If you had planned to end it this way from the begging, I applaud your foresight. I thought it was really cool that the thread that ran through the entire story was literally thread (or ball of yarn). Fantastic work! I'm glad I was able to follow along with your project this past semester.
Hi there Madison!
Wow, your project has really come together in an amazing way! I think it’s so cool that you chose this topic to create a cohesive framework for your storybook. Comparing stories on a similar topic across multiple cultures can provide such interesting insights into the people, the traditions, the values, and the morals of these cultures. The storybook is so well thought out and finished out. I’m so glad you got to add in so many different parts so that the reader gets a more complete picture of your topic. Everything is so well written, and the layout and images you have chosen complement your story book beautifully. I especially enjoyed reading the new stories that I was not previously familiar with. Overall, I thought your writing was great. It was such a treat to read!
Great job, good luck with your finals, and have an amazing summer!
-Kate
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